Selfless
by AoifeRose
Summary: A case makes the two ladies realise that berating themselves for the job they do achieves nothing and sex is a far more productive way to spend their time! Does what it says on the tin!


**Set at the end of 10x19 "Selfish" so some spoilers. Don't belong to me, all NBC's. First time writing for these two – I usually write Olivia with the other blonde in her life now ;) But I've always read fic on these two and love them **** Spelling mistakes are all mine – sorry in advance! **

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"Drink?"

Olivia didn't have to think about an answer to that one. The A.D.A was the only one left in the prescient – Elliot was gone home to his kids and Munch and Fin were gone to watch a ball game between Homicide and the drugs squad at the local ball park. Even the Captain had left.

"Yeah. Just let me grab my coat"

"Anywhere in particular you want to go"

"Anywhere with alcohol"

Alex gave a short chuckle "I think that can be arranged. When Olivia had retrieved her coat from the interview room she re-joined the A.D.A. in the squad room. Alex linked her arm through Olivia's and Olivia smiled. She was weary. The support was needed. But it was also warm and gentle. She saw the blonde smile out of the corner of her eye as they set off for Maguire's.

They unlinked themselves at the door – there was friendly and then there was the gossip mill in over drive so that by morning they'd been dating five years and had secretly gotten married in Vegas.

Grabbing a booth Olivia sat down and Alex followed her a few minutes later with two glasses of red wine.

They both took a sip of wine and Alex let out a long sigh.

"That was …" her voice trailed off as she played with the stem of her wine glass.

"Yeah it was" Olivia reached over and covered Alex's other hand which was resting on the table.

"I don't understand it Liv. Why bring a kid into this world and then leave them open to one of the most potentially deadly communicable diseases out there that's totally preventable? Sorry I forgot you're arguing for the defence on this"  
"Counsellor we're not in court and it's not that black and white". She moved her thumb back and forth over Alex's knuckles and jumped when she pulled her hand away.

"There's no in between on this Liv. She killed that little girl. She chose not to immunise and she killed that little girl"

Alex had raised her voice and the people at the table nearby turned to stare.

Alex shook her head and made a move to leave but Olivia grabbed her hand.

"Alex, please sit down". The blonde hesitated and her eyes darted to the door. She returned her gaze to the detective dark brown whose eyes were full of concern.

She said in a quieter tone "Alex, please?"

Alex slumped onto the leather couch of the booth and took her glasses off placing them on the table.

"I'm sorry"

"That was some reaction Counsellor. People are wondering why I'm not arresting you for drunk and disorderly. Care to share?"

Alex began to play with the wine glass again

"I was sitting in the office after you guys left earlier, files and folders everywhere. Sheets and sheets of paper on all of the cases from the one against Sierra's mother to the one against the City to the one against the other Mom all open on my desk. And attached to the middle of one of the files was a picture of Sierra. A copy of the one Elliot found on the grandfather's body". Alex got more and more distracted by the wine glass and picked it up, swirling its contents before swallowing another mouthful. When she set it down she looked up at Olivia. She was using that look she used for victims, one Alex had seen a million times but this time with just a slight edge of something else. Was it anger? Usually Alex could read these things but Olivia Benson was far from an open book. She shook her head slightly having stared at her companion for a minute too long.

"Sorry"

"It's okay Alex. Just tell me"

"I just thought that in the middle of all the shouting and the arguing and the drama and the media frenzy that somehow that little girl was completely forgotten by everyone but her grandfather. I looked at that photo for twenty minutes Olivia. I wondered what she would have been like? Would she have liked ballet or softball? Would she have preferred singing or dancing? Would she have gone to college? What would she have been when she was older?" Alex voice became further and further away as she lamented Sierra's short life.

"Why would anyone bring a child into this world?"

"Doing what we do and seeing what we see everyday makes you look at things differently Alex. You know that. But you also know that the psychos and the crazies are mostly opportunistic nut jobs who happen to get lucky. And people like George are there to take care of those showing a predisposition to serious mental illness, hopefully before we come across them".

Alex laughed bitterly "Seriously? Sadists are not opportunists Liv. Paedophiles are not opportunists. Some rapists and murders are cold and calculating and precise in their crimes"

Olivia knew Alex's mind set right now. She'd been there many times wondering why she bothered locking up one when she knew another one was just around the corner.

"Alex the world is a bad place. That might seem like stating the blatantly obvious but right now I think you need to hear that. I'm not going to sugar coat it for you – there are evil people out there. People who whether through nature or nurture are hell bent on destroying lives. But if we thought about it too much we'd never get out of bed in the morning" Trying to lighten the mood slightly she took the Counsellor's hand again and squeezed it gently "And then who'd ride the guys asses all day about being slobs and misogynists?"

Alex smiled and returned the squeeze rubbing her thumb over Olivia's knuckles like she had done moments earlier.

"You know what? The college educated, prep school, cello playing feminist in me knows everything you just said is true. But something got me. Looking at that little girl, those curls, those blue eyes. I just… I just couldn't believe something as simple as Measles could kill her. You talk about evil. But what about the evil we can't see Liv?

"That is the kind of evil where we just have to have faith in whomever we do that it's never visited upon us Alex. And I know that sounds very enchanted and fairy-taleesque. But we can't foresee it all. In fact we can't foresee 90% of it. We just have to hope for the best"

"You're very philosophical tonight detective. What happened to the hard ass cop who believes any problem can be solved if you look hard enough for an answer?"  
"There are problems and then there's inevitabilities Alex. Two very different things. Both can have awful outcomes but one can be stopped and the other is like a speeding train with no breaks, it's inevitably going to crash into something eventually"

Olivia was miles away lost in thoughts about past cases and the silence was comfortable for a few minutes. It was interrupted when the blonde cleared her throat. I don't know about you but I've had enough of talking shop. It's been a horrific week and I feel like I haven't sat down on a comfortable chair for a week or eaten a decent meal".

"Sorry I'll let you get home". Olivia went to stand but Alex shook her head.

"Wow, phrased that all wrong. Easy knowing I'm not used to having friends. I'll try again. Would you like to come to my place and have some dinner and make use of a rather comfortable new sofa I bought a few months back that was delivered yesterday but which I have yet to sit on?"

Olivia laughed. "That sounds good".

They rose from the table together and coats went back on for the return into the cold spring air. When they got outside Olivia linked their arms again and they walked towards the parking garage. She studied the stars in the clear night sky as they walked and covered a hand that came rest on their joined arms with her own as she they walked the few blocks to garage. The night was cold but the body beside her was warm and welcoming.

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As Olivia finished the last mouthful of noodles she groaned and downed the last sip of wine in her glass. Putting her hand on her stomach she explained the concept of a 'food baby' to Alex who mirrored her action "yup, think I have one in here too". Her tummy rumbled in contentment "Hey look it can talk too". They laughed as Olivia's stomach made pretty much the same sound.

Alex turned to look at the detective who was reclining on her new black leather sofa. "This is possibly the weirdest conversation I've had in a while".

"You should try talking a bit more to the crazies I deal with. Hey did I tell you about the guy last week that told me that the mirror in his bathroom wasn't showing his reflection but the reflection of Darth Vader who told him that the churchgoers across the road were actually devil worshipers that he should kill – hence jumping the two fifteen year olds going to choir and beating them senseless. Unusual that he escalated so quickly because he hasn't been violent before but he'd been talking to two 'cops' online who said it was time for him to take the law into his own hands"

"Where is he now?"  
"Reikers. Bail denied. He was passed over to vice. Seems the hallucinations were something to do with the heroin he was dealing him. We stepped on their toes so I got a slap on the wrists for getting in the way. If Vice had been doing their job I wouldn't have had to be anywhere near the guy"

Olivia sat forward on the couch growling "Idiots".

She felt a hand on her lower back rubbing gently.

"You're a good cop Liv. You didn't deserve that. And yes Vice are idiots. More importantly though the jerk is locked up now"

Olivia's laugh was hollow. "What's the point though Alex really? You were right in the bar you know. We can do everything within our power and sometimes outside the bounds of law to get the job done. We hurt people and get hurt ourselves. And for what? I'm only one person. I'm not a doctor. I couldn't have saved Sierra"

"Nor could I Liv". Alex sat forward and put her arm around Olivia's shoulders bringing her back onto the couch with her. For a moment as Olivia rested her head on the blonde's shoulder they sat there in silence content to just be the company they both needed.

"You know what Detective, I think we've done enough beating on ourselves tonight to last for a few months"

Olivia laughed as she nodded in agreement lifting her head off the blonde's shoulder.

"I think you're right Counsellor"

Alex shifted on the couch bringing her leg up under her so she was turned to look at the brunette who was checking her watch and contemplating leaving.

When Olivia turned she saw soft blue eyes staring at her.

"Stay" It was just one word but Olivia could see that look in Alex's eyes that she'd seen so many times in her own at the end of a long week when she was taking off her make-up and going to bed alone again. A pale hand moved to her thigh and Olivia's muscles twitched under the touch. It took every ounce of strength she had not to take that hand and move it higher. But she needed an answer to something first.

"Is this just some kind of pity fuck Alex? Because I don't do pity fucks"

Alex moved closer to her on the couch moving her hand to Olivia's waist.

"This is far from a pity fuck Liv. God I've wanted to do this for so long. But you and Stabler are glued at the hip and when you're not together you're either asleep or with Munch or Fin or as is often the case I've lost my nerve again".

"Counsellor are you telling me you fancy me?" Olivia was genuinely surprised and slightly amused that the beautiful ADA couldn't muster the nerve to do anything about it.

"Fancy is a bit of an understatement detective" Alex leaned in and placed a soft gentle kiss on the lips she'd fantasied about many times. They tasted even better than she imagined.

As she pulled back she whispered "Liv I've wanted you for so long. I literally feel butterflies in my tummy before I see you. When you smile at me I feel like a giddy schoolgirl. When you get angry with me I feel hurt and if it's just one of your little rants a little turned on to be honest. You are hot when you're angry"

Olivia cut Alex off before she could say anything else kissing her gently again.

"You're not so bad yourself Counsellor. I've seen you take a perp out with just a look remember. That can leave a girl with a lot to think about when she's alone on a cold night". Olivia's voice was getting deeper and the fear Alex had that she was being mocked disappeared.

She leaned towards the detective again this time less tentative in her kiss. She put a hand on the detective's waist again and brought the other to her neck. The kiss became deeper as Olivia teased the blonde's lips for access with the tip of her tongue. When Olivia's tongue slipped into her mouth and began to curl against her own Alex's stomach muscles began to contract and a tingle in her lower abdomen moved to settle between her legs causing her to moan into the other woman's mouth. Eyes closed she began to tug at Olivia's sweater trying to pull it off but pulling away from the kiss wasn't an option right now so she gave up and slipped her hands under it instead massaging the soft skin of taut abs and down over the small swell of hips managing to get her fingers into the waistband of the Detective's pants and massage the small of her back.

Olivia felt like her skin was on fire. The kiss became more and more pressured the more the blonde massaged her stomach and back. Everything south of that had turned shaky and hot in a very short space of time. She needed to get naked soon and she needed to feel the skin of the other woman against her. Olivia had had a few quick fucks in bars and once after a party in the past few years to keep her from losing it completely. But she hadn't been interested in being naked with any of them. She was interested in getting off and leaving. Now she wanted to feel every inch of this woman. To pleasure her the way she liked to be. To make her scream. And she had every intention of doing just that.

Putting a hand to Alex's shoulder she pushed her back so she reclining on her new sofa. Climbing astride the taller woman she braced her knees on either side of her hips. She unbuttoned Alex's white form fitting shirt and smiled when she saw the front facing clasp of her lace bra. She flicked it opened and her eyes widened as Alex's breasts slid from the bra. She lowered herself down to capture Alex's lips again and gathered both breasts in her hands bringing them together and massaging them flicking her thumbs over hardened nipples.

Alex's eyes closed as Olivia dipped her head and took a nipple in her mouth.

"Aaah Liv"

She released the hard bud and began to kiss down the counsellor's stomach to the top of her skirt "Off"

Alex look surprised. Olivia seemed to have become monosyllabic and her eyes were almost black as she reached for the zipper on her skirt.

Alex lifted her hips. She was feeling decidedly exposed given she was only wearing black panties and black stockings. The latter weren't present for much longer as the Detective slipped them off simultaneously moving off the woman under her kissing down one leg and up the other as she placed her hands behind Alex's knees. She caught the blonde behind her knees and turned her around on the sofa, sliding off the sofa onto her knees she positioned herself on the floor between her legs smiling devilishly as Alex made a vain attempt to remove her panties. Liv was going to have some fun first.

"Ah ah, we have to maintain some of your modesty Counsellor"

Alex looked at her slightly incredulous. "I think we're a bit past that Detective. And you have way too many clothes on"

"I appear to. Would you like me to take them off?"  
Alex could only nodded as Olivia rose to her feet and began to lift her sweater off over her head. The tank underneath was doing a good job with the bra of supporting the breasts Alex had dreamt about kissing and touching. She slowly peeled the blue tank off and flicked the clasp on her bra as she did so, breasts falling free of their confines. Alex did what she normally did when she imagined them and moved her hand towards her centre trying to relieve some of the mounting tension. Her attention soon wavered however when the detective began to remove her jeans. Shimmying out of them slowly turning so Alex could watch her ass as she stripped Olivia decided she enjoyed stripping for Alex. She hoped she could do it again. She felt like the she was the only woman alive the way the blue eyes were concentrated on her. She was so flattered to see how wet and ready Alex was, even with her underwear still on Olivia could see the wetness seeping through.

Alex's breath hitched in her chest as Olivia reached her thumbs under the sides of her pink boy shorts and removed them; slowly revealing the last piece of Olivia Alex longed to see.

Stepping out of her underwear Olivia walked back and took up the same position straddling her new lover who was finding it extremely hard to breathe.

"Fuck Liv you are gorgeous"

"You are very beautiful yourself Miss Cabot". Olivia leaned in for a kiss and was about to make a move to climb off her lap and resume her position on the floor when she felt strong arms around her back.

"Nuh uh"

Olivia tilted her to the side, one eyebrow raised. It was quickly joined by the other one when she felt slim fingers rubbing over and back just below her pubic bone.

"That was a lovely show detective but it got me kind of hot. And since I've fantasised about it so much I think it's time I experienced the real thing.

Alex didn't hesitate moving her fingers lower. She bit her lip as she dipped her index finger between Olivia's inner lips. She smiled and felt a wave of odd relief wash over her as she felt sticky wetness building. Starting a slow vertical rhythm with one finger she kept her other hand on the Detective's back as she felt her arch into her touch throwing her head back and closing her eyes.

"You're so wet Liv"

"The minute I touched you it started" Olivia rasped tried in vain to get Alex's to move quicker or harder. Alex knew it's what Olivia wanted and she wasn't giving in that quickly.

Olivia keened when Alex finger moved lower but passed over her opening moving lower to coat the ring of muscle around her asshole and moving back up to make a repetitive horizontal motion across her perineum.

Alex gave a small laugh as she saw Olivia open her eyes and look straight at her. "There's teasing and then there's killing a girl counsellor. You're getting very close to the latter"

Olivia was expecting a reprieve. She got no such thing. In fact she got the exact opposite. Alex's hand moved from between her legs up to the top of her navel. She began making a torturously slow figure of eight from that point down towards the top of Olivia's thigh glancing slightly over her clit as she reached the top of the other thigh and finished off the figure by dragging her finger through the small patch of dark curls back to the point she started to finish off the eight.

After doing it three times making Olivia jump each time her fingertip glanced her clit Alex took pity on the brunette who was now growling at her.

"My my Detective you sound angry" Alex's voice held a hint of teasing and a hint of challenge in it – she wanted to make Olivia Benson beg.

"Angry? No. Wet and horny yes"

Alex chuckled. Are you sure you don't want me to tease you a bit more?

"You can tease all you want counsellor. Ultimately you're going to give me what I want!"  
Olivia was shocked as she felt Alex push up from underneath with some effort as her sweaty skin was sticking to the leather. She practically lifted Olivia off her and walked away.

Olivia knelt on the sofa with her mouth open watching the naked blonde walk slowly towards the bedroom swinging her hips just a little bit more than Olivia was used to.

For a moment Olivia was afraid she'd pushed too hard. Afraid she'd presumed too much.

She sat down for a moment to try and think of something to say to her lover when she heard movement behind her.

Alex was still naked apart from a black leather harness containing a dark pink cock; Olivia reckoned about nine inches. He mouth fell open at the sight and she was about to move to stand up when a stern voice told her to "stay put"

When she reached Olivia she grabbed her hips moving her to the end of the sofa, an overstuffed arm the perfect place for her to rest her head and shoulders.

"You said give you what you want. I'm not sure what that is. But there is one way to find out"

Alex leaned in and captured lips that were now warm and swollen from kissing. She tasted a slight bit of salt as she licked around the detective's lips before slipping her tongue into a wide-open waiting mouth. That mouth was almost ready to eat her whole but Olivia had decided it was time to let someone else take control for a while. It was seldom she did it and she trusted Alex so it seemed right.

She felt the counsellor begin to kiss down the middle of her neck sucking hard at the base. She winced at the little shot of pain and thanked God it was still cold enough to wear a scarf.

She felt soft kisses veer off to the left as her nipple was encased in a hungry mouth teeth raking softly over it as the other one was pinched. So Alex liked a little bit of pain with her pleasure. Olivia filed that away for future reference because she was sure this wasn't going to be the last time this would happen. She felt a warm wet tongue lick a line down between her breasts to her belly button, a tongue dipping in and out for a moment to tease her. And then kisses covering the final expanse of skin before her sex. Alex looked up and smiled a wicked smile that sent a shiver down Olivia's spine.

"So I was wondering Liv, is this what you want?" Alex took Olivia's clit into her mouth alternating between swirling her tongue around the hard tip to sucking it gently.

Olivia was playing with her nipples teasing herself. Her response as a simple "Unh"

"Or was it this Detective?" Alex glided two fingers easily into a soaking wet core a few moments later. She began to slide them in and out at a torturously slow pace watching Olivia's face contort as she tried to get herself off but needing that small bit of extra pressure on her clit that Alex was not going to give.

As Alex rose to her knees Olivia felt the shift and opened her eyes. She watched the blonde take both her legs and spread them wider throwing one over the back of the couch and the other over her shoulder.

She lined the head of the strap on up with Olivia's opening and slid it in gently.

"Or was it this?"  
As she pushed the strap on slowly into Olivia the brunette let out a long moan adjusting herself to he feeling of being filled.

"You like that?"  
All Alex got in response was another "Unh"

Olivia looked down at the cock buried deep in her and managed three words before all rational thought left her.

"Fuck me fast"

Alex didn't hesitate. Leaning forward slightly so she had enough leverage to pump in and out without hurting Olivia she began to move her hips slipping the dildo in an out at a rapid pace. She knew Olivia was getting close as she could feel her internal muscles spasaming on the cock. So she increased her thrusts not fully pulling out but moving internally as she felt the heel of Olivia's foot dig into her shoulder and her nails dig into her hips.

"Fuck Alex. I'm yes yes, I'm cuming"  
"That's it Liv, let it go, cum"

Olivia's walls clamped down on the strap on and Alex was unable to move it so she stilled and leaned it to kiss the panting detective smiling as she pulled away to see that Olivia was totally exhausted.

She waited minutes before withdrawing and removing the harness leaving it aside to snuggle into the slumbering woman under her.

"Not asleep just can't move" Olivia mumbled.

Alex laughed "That was the idea. You okay?"  
"Amazing"

Alex leaned in and kissed the side of Olivia's neck as she tried to rouse the detective.

"Well my new couch is going to need a serious clean after the way you just came all over it so I don't think it's a good idea if we sleep here.

Would you like to join me in bed?"

Olivia mumbled something about hating her and in jest as Alex helped her get to her feet and they made it to the bedroom. Alex pulled back the covers with one hand and deposited the worn out detective on one side of the bed while she took up residence on the other.

As Olivia regained a sense of time and place she turned towards Alex and took her into her arms kissing her long and slow.

"What was that for?"

"A thank you for the last hour and a preview of what's in store when I can feel my legs again. Right now I need to sleep for a few minutes"

Alex nestled into Olivia's arms and whispered into her ear "I can't wait". They both fell asleep with small smiles and less worries.

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